The Idiot Next to Me <$BlogRSDUrl$>

The Idiot Next to Me
Yes, I'm Serious.

Geek Essentials

Thursday, February 24, 2005
(can you tell that the idiot next to me is on vacation? It's too quiet around here)

I just got a new PC. I don't want to brag, so no details. =) I am installing all my apps and games and dloading all the little bells and whistles... the things I can't live without.

So I was wondering, while my essentials are Trillian, Office/Frontpage 2003, my various P2P clients, Unreal Tournament 2004, and FireFox... what is essential for other geeks? (and dont tell me that you are not a geek... geek is sheik baby!)

Let's see what the must haves are for you on your square headed life mate.

I listed 5... can you?

Mimi made me do it.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
So, in chasing the trail of blogs I came across Mimi and well... here it is...

Book Game by Texas Biscuit. Here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

One hand was raised, palm flat, while the other one curved around her body, following the drape of her garb. "Her hand is empty, but there's a little hollow right here," the elf pointed out. "Fill it with a jewel that has a special meaning for you and Khyrra and Our Lady of Joy will stand in my stead at your wedding tomorrow".

-Blood Sport
Christine Golden
Forgotten Realms, The Best of The Realms Book I
(gotta love those elvish vampires)

Tag! Yer it!

I'm not so bad after all

To prove I have a soft side... I'm going to give something away.

I 25 gmail accounts up for the taking. I know I know, gmail is old news... everyone has one... well, It's all I have here in the digital world to give away other then nude pics of myself... and I want to make friends, not scare them away.

So, either comment here or send me an email and I'll hook ya up with an invite.

Pass it on.

And the review...

I love having Sunday and Monday off. Tonight I went to the movies downtown. It was a good experience. Monday night at 9pm in Oklahoma City... no one is at the movie. This way, I can enjoy the movie without *cough* 'people' getting in the way of my movie going enjoyment.

-If I go on a Friday or Saturday night of opening weekend, it's bad. I like to sit in the very back row so no one is able able to sit behind me. Many people do this. So then the back row, even the back 5 rows get filled up fast. Then, it never fails, along comes a group of 5 people... either during the ever important previews or some time in the first 10 min of the movie... walking all the way up to the top/back row, which was full long ago, and they decide to stand there while discussing amongst themselves a place to sit. I came here to see a damn movie! Not watch you be an idiot because you are late! 100% of the time there are about 30 seats all bunched together just waiting for you to take one. Yea, on the front row... that's right. And that is usually where these people end up in the long run. So next time, do yourself a favor and go straight to them rather then stand at the end of my row (sometimes even right next to me) and yak yak yak with your mating partner and offspring.

The Movie

Constantine. Based off the Vertigo/DC comic 'Hellblazer'. Keanu Reeves. Over sized Zippo lighter. Thick in demonology and the occult. Impressive. Fresh. Clever. Good, but not great. Go see it.

Yea... my first movie review! I think I'll keep that format. That should win friends and get me lots of invites to mega ultra dinner parties.

constintine, technology, and the general public.

Monday, February 21, 2005
I hate the general public at movie theatres on opening weekend. They are rude and talk too loud and walk around like they are blind.

Anyway, I am sitting in down town Okc at the new harkins theatre blogging on my BlackBerry in the Cine Capri.

Constantine is tonights feature. I will write up a personal review of the film and overall experiance when it's over.

lol what's with that lol?

Sunday, February 20, 2005
OMFG! (I assume we all know what that means.)

Has 'lol' became the new 'like'? Seriously. lol I was reading a movie review message board lol and there was this person lol who said lol every few lines. lol. Give me a break lol. lol, isn't this annoying?

Yes, I know what lol means, I am phat with your skinney, I am picking up what you are putting down. You are teh leet d00de and you roxxor my boxxorz. In other words, I'm hip to the lingo.
laugh out loud or lots of laughs. I understand that 'kids will be kids' but adults are doing this as well, lol. I even see people doing it in text messages from a cell phone.

*Keep in mind, laugh out loud or lots of laughs.

Call me crazy, but when I write something personal (personal as in non professional/work related) I made it a habit to write as if I am speaking to the reader. We all have our 'written communication voice' and our 'verbal communication voice'. I try to make them both one voice. I, like many people, try to imagine the voice of the person in my head. Especially if it's someone I know personally.

So imagine if you will, the following being spoken... '(hysterical laughter) I'm having dinner with Jacob (hysterical laughter) and Crystal shows up at the resturant (hysterical laughter) and she asked Jacob how he got here and he said his car (hysterical laughter).

OMFG! Can you say trip to the hospital in a clean reversible backwards white coat?

Is it really that funny? If so, then why doesn't the reader burst out in laughter too? Could it be that you are just an idiot?

Somewhere between Ambrose Bierce, Frederick Nietzsche, and Darwin are all the answers I am looking for.


Move over English, here comes 'Idioteese'.

Friday, February 18, 2005
Yes, I can make up words like 'Idioteese'.

My non idiot friend, the sophisticated bitch known as aka_monty pointed out an idiot today. It seems this idiot is her neighbor, so I can only assume that the 'label' best fitting for said neighbor would be, 'The Idiot Next to Me'.

The 16 year old daughter of a neighbor came by one evening. She wanted to borrow the food "prosser" so her mom could "pross" some coleslaw.

Come on people. Learn what simple house hold items are called. I know you are only 16 but it's not like we are talking about an 8 track player or asking you to crank the phonograph. It's a food processor and it processes food.

I bet if MTV made a movie about it or Jessica sang about one then you would know what it was.

...but then you would know the MTV version, and still would have no idea what you are talking about.

Exploitation of an idiot.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Okay, queue up the mission impossible music and listen up...

As everyone knows, has an audio blog feature. In the next few weeks I am going to tell TINtM that it is someone's birthday, like my sister or something, and that I want his help in making it a good birthday because I'm just that damn nice of a brother. I am going to call the audioblogger number and hand him the phone and have him sing 'happy birthday' and give some cheesy birthday greeting for all to hear!

If it is as easy as I think it will be to get him to sing/talk into a blank phone, I may start doing it on a monthly basis. Maybe even take suggestions from TINtM readers for what he should say or sing.

Okay, now queue up the manicial laughter. =)

I'm surrounded!

Okay, so I just moved. I went from a house far far away from work to an apartment less then 5 min away. Well, the people who live (you guessed it) next to me are idiots too. They have this little rat of a child... not that I dont like kids, don't get me wrong... but he is a walking disaster. Him and all his friends leave bikes and skate boards lined up in all the parking spaces in front of by building, he has walked into my apartment before with no invitation or provocation, he took things out of his kitchen to make 'magic bee attracting potions' and made a huge mess of cookie sprinkles right at my front door so I could track everything in on my carpet.

(turns out the sprinkles and 'magic potion' were 2 separate occasions... and it was the stuffing from a doll... not sprinkles)

Well, as I'm writting this my woman calls me on my crackberry to tell me that she had a talk with the guy across the hall. He seems nice and invited us over to have chili sometime... okay... so maybe he isnt an idiot... but come on, control your child! The parking lot is not a baby sitter!

I need to get out more... I am starting to run out of idiots. Someone do something stupid so I can anonymously point it out on the internet.

I have faith in TINtM... he wont let me down. I bet that in 24 hours he cries about something.

Ya know... there is another guy I know with the same name as TINtM who is worth blogging about... hmmm... I see the future, and it's full of idiots!

A week later

Well, the 13 hour days I had to spend with TINtM are over. He is dissapointing me. He hasnt said or done much that is stupid. He almost got scammed out of 1200.00 on eBay yesterday, but he missed it by a hair.

He has kept his anger in check, it was even put to the test yesterday when everyone was laughing at him for his 'simple' taste in movies.

He will break soon.

Here are a few quotes from TINtM the past week;

'I dunno man, she's real smart' -when asked if he likes the new girl he is talking to, and his reason for doubting.
'Hey, I like simple movies that aren't hard to understand'
'Just because I dont like movies that are all deep and have...' -guess it was beyond him to finish that one.

Ultimate Test

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
So I have to spend 13 hours a day with TINtM this week. We have training hours before our shift starts and then we have to come back and finish our shift. I dont know how I can do it. I'm going to try to blog from the training on my BlackBerry some time this week... it might help stay awake.

I was too into the training to notice any stupidity. Nothing has been said negative about the whole 'I didnt get an invite to the party' thing.

Give it time, I'm sure he will be crying soon.


Saturday, February 05, 2005
Well, I moved this weekend. Friday night after I got my bigscreen set up I had some friends over for dinner. People came to my new place with 'idiot reports'. He knew I was going to have friends over... So he goes to one of them and starts to whine and bitch about how he doesn't understand why I act distand and act like I'm not his friend.

I think I'm goint to set up a pay pal account and put a "donate" button on this blog so people can send in money and I can buy him a clue.

I can't believe he can do the things he does and say the things he says then wonder why his social circle is getting smaller.

No, I didn't invite you over because you call me lazy, a slacker, talk shit about me to people, you whine, you act like a child and throw tantrums and give people the silent treatment, you are a chicken shit because you will tell me I'm wrong but when I ask how you just say 'nevermind' over and over, you are way way too obsessed over a video game that you talk about all the damn time, and oh yea... Did I mention... You are an idiot!

Some people need prozac.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
TINtM is now slamming stuff around his desk and bitching because he cant find a phone.

Jeez... get over it. Its really getting to be too much... seems like I am spending most of my time posting about how much of an idiot he is... might run out of bandwidth soon...

....oh wait... now he is in a good mood and talking about his game again and surfing the game's message boards.

Bi-polar anyone?


Well, he has been whining about this issue we are having with BlackBerries. The server needed to be reset to fix it. He started bitching and moaning about how he doesn't want just a resolution, he wants to know what was wrong with it. What could cause this big of an outage.

Sure, I want to know too. I think it would be educational to know where this all started...

...but as always, he took it to the 'cry baby' level.

He said that he is going to talk to our boss about this because he is 'sick of this shit'. Come on man, the resolution is less then 5 min old. Give someone a chance to research it and I'm sure someone will send us an email letting us know all the details.

But hey, if he wants to send a negative email to the boss and lose his cool about something not many people have any control over, then more power to him. People in this place look down on negativity and having a bad attitude is one of the first things that come to mind when advancement comes around.

And were off!

He has been here less then 5 min and has talked about his game non stop... I even started reading something out loud and he just sat there till I was done then finished talking about his game. He is all laughing and happy now, but I say give it till lunch time and he will be crying about something. Whine whine whine.

The Idiot in my absence.

I am off on Mondays. When I got in to work this morning I started hearing stories about the idiot next to me. It seems that he became a cry baby yesterday because this department got a little busy for a few hours. This coming from the same guy who calls me a slacker and more or less called me lazy to my face.

Okay, so I'm a lazy slacker... but who is the cry baby getting diaper rash when it gets a busy during the end of his shift?

I would rather be known as lazy then a sissy.

He will be here in about 30 min to start his shift. I'm sure you will hear from me more then once today about this hypocritical pansy.

Thanks to DaMook for this info.

Idiot poll

No, not that sort of idiot poll. I added a voting poll to determine how much of the idiot next to me (aka, tintm) you want.
The poll will last one week. Scroll down and let me know.